Metallic Moron's Page

Welcome to the page of the Mini known as Metallic Moron!

Metallic Moron was so named after its somewhat typo'd entry in the P&L Mini's sales website. It was originally a 1983 Mini mayfair, but has had "some" things added ;-)

Prior to myself, it was owned by a friend in york who took good care of it, and put some cracking Yoko A008's on it, but didnt get much of a chance to drive it
I offered 1500 for Moron, and drove it back to Manchester with the biggest grin in the world on my face!

The principle changes (that I know about...) are:
Minisport 1293 stage 3 engine,
HIF44 carb and minispares heated inlet manifold.
Lucas electronic ignition.
Steering wheel Drop bolt
Minilight 10" wheels
AVO Adjustable shocks on the front

Moron's Sale picture Morons sale photo

A very pretty beast if I do say so!

Unfortunately a fate befell on moron before it could be "played with" more, it was taken to York for a weekend, and on the way back whilst overtaking a truck.... Something odd happened.
The engine started racing as if the clutch had gone. Indeed that was what I thought it was, and after joining the RAC and having them eventually recover me and moron from the side of the A64 (another story), I was still under that impression
It was only when the wonderful chaps at Monk Bar garage (where moron lay for about a week) phoned to say that they couldn't get the cluch out that suspicion begen to form
After much discussion, and cursing on their behalf, they just couldn't shift the bolt in the end of the crank, and it looked like the flywheel had fretted the keywasher that keys the flywheel taper in at the end of the crank.
This was an utter mystery to all here in manchester, and including a very knowlegable collegue who just had no idea what the %?^$"# hell was going on.
The crank just went round and round and couldnt be locked by the flywheel.
I eventually had moron recoverd back to home and took 4 days off to fettle the beast.
Not going to happen said moron, and it took the cylinder being filled with mains flex and a -very- long bar, and a lot of grunting before the bolt came out.
Well, most of it. The rest was inside the crank nose with no hope of ever getting it out.
Close examination of the assembly which now came off revealed the sad story:
Moron's crank
It looks like moron had an A+ engine and clutch assembly, paired up with mostly A-series peripherals. This works well, unless you don't fit the crank harmonic damper, as in this case.....
Basicly, Moron's flywheel securing bolt had resonated loose, allowing the flywheel to come of its taper, then fret the keywasher until it just went round... and round.. and welding the flywheel to the nose of the crank, and ripping it and the crank up, whilst de-tempering the bolt so that it locked inside the crank and could not be removed.

Moron is now being rebuilt.... by me and a little bit by MED engineering. I took the oportunity to get an engine crane and to do both engine, steering, brakes and suspension at once, and change insurance companies (because direct line *will* throw several wobblers)when it expires on the 4th of june

Little Moron's BIG Rebuild

After that little lot, moron had a perfect excuse to go to pieces:
Moron in bits 1 Moron in bits 2 Front of Moron
Getting to this state took 3 days, but it was very fast to strip the engine out (about 4 hours, exactly what it says in the Haynes manual).
Moron's Spec is undergoing major overhaul:
    Omega Cast +0.020 pistons with offset dish
    Converted to standard clutch, orange clutch diaphragm and standard plate, lightened flywheel
    MED engineering 1275 Crank:- Reground, Wedged, X-drilled and Nitrided
    Center main strap
    Vanderval Main bearings

    This should give me usable revs to 7500 and shed loads of power

    Minisport 4-pot alloy calipers with vented disks
    Top engine steady
    Group "A" rose jointed fully adjustable tie rods AND bottom arms

    This should allow me to stop again, and control it en-route!

This lot will set me back the princely sum of 1600 squid, and that includes all the setting up and other jiggery pokery...
Also in the rebuild and have already been fitted:
    Electric Aerial from the Jag XJS.
    Cream Leather Seats from the same place.

So far:
The drive shafts have been stripped and cleaned, ready for painting and re-fitting the CV joints, boots and brake assembly. Just need a couple of small wire circlips for the ends to scure the CV joint, and some lockwire to hold it all together:
Moron's driveshafts
The block has been stripped and ready for rebuild waiting for MED to do their thang.
The brakes, stabliliser and arms have all been ordered by minisport who'd better get their arse in gear and deliver asap, or I will have a sense of humour faliure...
I only hope that the disks will allow me to keep the existing lines for the car without adding arches...

Edwin is grinning lots at the moment, but when it comes to put it all back in I hope it all fits!

March Update

The minisport disks arrived, but when I went to pick them up, the courier had mis-handled them so badly that the calipers had been scratched and the package had burst open. Needless to say I rejected it and back to minisport it goes to bollock Business Post and clean up their act!

The driveshafts have been painted and a turbo and stage 3 head acquired from ebay for a small sum, along with an intercooler and other bits. The metro subframe kindly given by Dave down the road was duly stripped to get the crank and other nice engine bits!

April Update

Decided to clean up all carb bits and sort out the piping.
Having sorted out all the major parts and discovered that I hae 3 of every not so useful turbo part apart from the turbo... I started sorting things out properly.
Chose the following bits - minispares manifold, turbo carb, spare plenum chamber paint stripped and polished, intercooler pipe, new lucas eletronic dizzy, Omega +0.020 turbo pistons, new con rods, the crank mentioned above, organic clutch plate and orange cover, new clutch arm, spare underpants, oil pressure gauge, centre main strap, new shell bearings, relax.

May update

Some more pictures! Have got the engins, block, head etc all fixed up, Now in the process of finishing off the plenum chamber.
Required a lot of thinking, measuring and a bloody big drill bit!
Some Experiences:
1. You cant use standard bolts to hold on the timing cover backplate when you are using a duplex timing gear, you have to countersink the holes and use allen headed countersunk setscrews to fit.
2. You have to chop a lot off the inside of the later type (breather type) timing cover or it all catches and you will need another gasket to refit it!
3. Use the inner valence stay bolt off an old Jaguar XJS to plug the pleum dump valve hole:- It is a very wide, short fat screw and the countersink will hold it in place over the hole, with a washer and gaskett behind it it should do fine!
4. Beware of metro blocks that squeak.. the replacement crank had spun its centre main bearing and had killed the block and the crank... bah. Oh, and the woodruff key had been banged in by some gorilla. So i ended up getting a MED special nice crank of doom!
5. Billet bolts for clutches should not break at 13 ft/lbs torque. Under impressed moment as i did one up and it went like cheese then fell appart.
6. Unless you have to, never do business with minisport - look at the bottom arms they sent me (below) and they cant get an order right to sav their life. Well and truly off my xmas card list.

Naff bottom arms
Look at where the holes are drilled - this is meant to be a group "a" part! its just dangerous....
Moron's Pistons
Expensive pistons!
Rebuilt complete engine
Turbo attached and ready for plenum mods...
Rebuilt complete engine
Time for a good many beers i think...

August Update
Mad times had by all dodging weather and Holidays so Moron hasnt had much work done.
Whats done now:-
Subframe fully mounted on solid towers and rear mounts, poly teardrops
ALL BRAKES attached, working and all driveshafts attached
(Minisport sacked their C.Service staff and gave me a bit of a refund and the calipers!
Uber Cunning mod to the plenum to attach a dump valve without the need for welding
Engine fully painted and assembled
Fuel lines prepared and all fuel stuff cleaned and fixed
I have been BUSY with the little things that really take the time.
Fit Fuel Lines and Exhaust
Weld Turbo Box in place - all holes are cut!
Wire in fuel pump
Drop engine in and bolt down clutch and adjust
Buy Zoe a box of chocolates and some wine...
October Update
EVERYTHING apart from the heater plumbing is done. It runs. Had to replace the ignitor on the dizzy as it went phut, then it bust into life.Timing set, cooling all good.
Initially put the fuel pump in backwards, and wondered what the bubbling noise in the fuel tank was...doh..
Intercooler positioning needs to be done when I can find some damn hosing that wont bankrupt me.
Boost controller needs plumbing in proplerly, and I'm tidying up the whole set-up. Photos soon..!


Rebuilt complete engine Rebuilt complete engine Rebuilt complete engine Rebuilt complete engine Rebuilt complete engine Rebuilt complete engine

- Edwin Beasant 2004